As a doctor from the countryside, I am deeply touched by this question and have some sporadic thoughts. When I was studying, I always believed that princes and generals would be peaceful, but after work, I found myself more and more like a classic car that wanted to overtake but lacked power, and I felt more and more than enough but not enough. I have to admit that this phenomenon mentioned by the subject is very universal. The following is combined with my own thinking and observation, analyze the reasons, and ask my friends to criticize and correct them.
First, there is a serious lack of support forces.When people are studying, in fact, they don't need too much support, they can afford to buy a few books with enough food and clothes, relatively speaking, students from the countryside are more likely to be self-motivated, and I can live a very nourishing life by part-time when I study, and my grades have always been among the best. But the competitive conditions after work are different, and support is becoming more and more important. For example, I have two very good friends. A is from the countryside, has strong scientific research strength when he was a doctorate, and he is a god-like scholar, and his popularity in the academic circle is greater than that of some professors when he was a doctor. B has a well-off family, is educated, loves to read, and works very hard, but his scientific research ability is mediocre, and he belongs to the type of person who is beaten by A. Both of them taught at the same university after graduation. B's parents immediately bought him a luxury hardcover house of 150 yuan and a car worth more than 800,000 yuan after his job was confirmed. Then B can read, teach, participate in academic conferences, and do scientific research with peace of mind. After graduating from A, the wedding money for the wedding was borrowed, and I also lent him some. Then now I work all kinds of part-time jobs to make money to support my family, and my house and car are all dependent on desperate part-time jobs, and I can't calm down to do scientific research. In fact, we all know privately that A is a person with real academic talent and ability. I believe that if this continues, B and A will be tied academically in five years, and B will be far better than A in ten years. In the end, it was discovered that A's competitor was not actually B, but B's parents. One night last spring, A and a group of friends and I were drinking night beer on the Yangtze River ferry, a girl who sold singing came over, I ordered a song "Old Boy", the spring night breeze was drunk, the river scenery was picturesque, the girl's singing voice was touching, A killed a glass of beer, suddenly howled and cried, his expression was agitated and sad, and his friends were at a loss. I brought A over and patted him on the shoulder a few times, and after a while A started talking and laughing again, I think I understood A at this time. Life and work itself are multi-frontal battles, and without the support of the family, the energy will inevitably be seriously dispersed, and it is impossible to persist and make things in a certain direction.
Second, the mentality of being eager to fulfill filial piety.College students from rural areas, once they graduate from work, generally have a mentality of eagerness to fulfill their filial piety, give money to their parents, buy things for their parents and relatives, and so on. This is human nature in itself, and it is natural to honor one's parents. However, when college students from rural areas first work, their income is not high, and if they eagerly send money to their families, they will inevitably reduce their social capital. Most rural parents generally have a serious mentality of surviving when their children work, but they do not know that this mentality will seriously compress their children's development space. I found a phenomenon that children from rural areas are enthusiastic about filial piety in the first two years after work, and then gradually turn off, and their stamina is seriously insufficient, mainly because their income level cannot keep up. In fact, when rural children work, the pressure of their parents is just reduced, and filial piety should make long-term plans and work hard in the future. Otherwise, if you are not strong enough, no matter how filial you are, it will often be useless. As for what the villagers said that so-and-so bought for their parents, this kind of direct ignorance, such a superficial evaluation, if it can affect you, have you become superficial? I have seen too many children buy this and that for their parents after work, and then after a year and a half, they have to put in the effort of the whole family to make up the down payment, why go backwards. In essence, the eagerness to fulfill filial piety reacts to a subjective mentality of eagerness to prove oneself, which is especially applicable to boys, and this question also highlights a person's pattern.
Third, its own pattern is not big enough.The characteristics of agricultural society have greatly influenced the character and pattern of college students coming out of rural areas. According to my observation, most of the college students who come out of the countryside and mix well do not come from agricultural families, but from rural merchant families, village leader families, teacher families, etc. Children from pure rural and agricultural backgrounds are easily restricted. After work, with a monthly income of 6,000 yuan, the idea of these children is to work hard to save money, persist in living a hard life, and save money. As everyone knows, 6,000 yuan, no matter how much you save it, if you don't eat or drink, you can't make 7,000 yuan. The mindset of saving money is essentially a manifestation of a person's lack of adventurous spirit and investment awareness. This mentality can seriously limit a person's development. When I was studying for a master's degree, two of my classmates were from rural areas, and later they both became lawyers, with similar incomes, about 80,000 yuan per year in the first two years. A is extremely frugal, saving food and spending, except for the necessary clothing expenses (the lawyer industry accounts for a large proportion of the consumption of the industry), almost never treats guests to dinner, and saves money to buy a house if possible. B usually works as a lawyer, works as a tutor at night, works part-time in various ways, and engages in parties at every turn, full of pride, and full of anger. In the second year, B bought a second-hand car, with Chinese cigarettes and Wuliangye in the trunk at all times, and all the income was gone. Now A's annual income is more than 150,000 points, B basically remains above 500,000, and the car has also been replaced with a BMW 5 Series.
Many people think that vision limits the development of rural children, which is undeniable. But for college students from rural areas, what really limits us is not our vision, but the pattern, mind, and way of thinking about problems. The horizon can be broadened with the growth of knowledge, while the latter few require one's own painful reflection and comprehension. To be able to accurately identify whether the front is sesame or watermelon, not only by the eyes, but more importantly, by the heart.
Fourth, not good at roundabout self-esteem.Children from rural areas, who have graduated from university, graduate school, and doctorate, generally have a good reputation and reputation at home and in the village, and such children often have strong self-esteem. However, in work and communication, too obvious self-esteem tendencies will seriously limit a person's ability to move in a roundabout way. For example, I treat my own students, for students from poor families, if he is not a particularly lively personality, I will communicate with them with great respect, and generally do not joke, because I understand their mentality, and it is easy to hurt them if the joke is wrong, and the same is true when I am studying. When the person who has the ability to give us a chance is polite and polite to us, it means that the relationship between us has not yet reached the level of getting along, and the opportunity that may be provided is only potential. In fact, if you have a sunny mentality, don't always think about grand ideals and ambitions, and go out to contact some friends, it will greatly improve the emotional intelligence and ability of rural babies. In addition, love is also a great opportunity to change a person, especially if you are lucky enough to find a girlfriend who knows the big picture, has a pattern, and has a vision, you will change a lot.
Fifth, the character collapses.College students from rural areas, most people's traditional concepts for our basic character design are diligence, self-motivation, willingness to endure hardships, simplicity, etc., these good personalities or qualities are our advantages and business cards, and there are many jobs that require such qualities. However, in recent years, more and more rich second generations of poor families have appeared, leading to the collapse of their own personalities. If the poor lose their hardships and hard work, they have lost the reason to respect or awe, because this is the only resource we rely on to turn the tables. Poverty is not terrible, what is terrible is that people are poor and short-minded but do not know themselves.
I have said that although life is very difficult and class solidification is serious, I believe that as long as we work hard and work hard in a way, the future can still be bright. Crossing a class in terms of economic strength and social status is not something that can be easily done in ten or twenty years or even a generation. As a rural baby, the way I appreciate the efforts is to admit and soberly recognize my conditional shortcomings and shortcomings, calm down, not compare with others, cultivate deeply in a certain industry, and establish my reputation and popularity in this field, so that you and your family's ability to resist risks will be enhanced, and the importance of this for people from rural areas is self-evident. When you are forty or fifty years old, after you have a certain status and reputation in the industry and the unit, many changes will take their course, in short, calm down, as the so-called hard and bitter hatred of Yuru Yucheng. "Do not ask yourself", always remind yourself to have such an introspective mentality, I believe it will not be bad.
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Posted on 5/8/2018 2:57:41 PM
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Posted on 5/16/2018 8:39:13 PM
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Landlord|
Posted on 5/16/2018 8:52:22 PM
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